Understanding Coercive Control California Laws (FC 6320) + the Power and Control Wheel
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV (Women of Silicon Valley), discusses coercive control as it relates to the Power and Control Wheel and current California law.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, discusses coercive control as it relates to the Power and Control Wheel and current California law (as of the time of this video recorded in March 2024).
The Power and Control Wheel was developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota to describe tactics that abusers use on their victims. In this video we discuss how it illustrates elements of coercive control that can be observed in abusive relationships.
Family Code 6320 in California includes coercive control within its definition of disturbing the peace. In California, coercive control is now grounds for a restraining order, which if violated can have criminal consequences for the perpetrator. In this video, Ruth Darlene discusses how FC 6320 recognizes and applies to survivors of coercive control.
Video timestamps:
00:00 The Power and Control Wheel
13:20 Federal definition of domestic violence
14:59 California definition of domestic violence
15:45 Family Code 6320
Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is intended for educational purposes only. WomenSV does not provide legal advice or recommendations.
Covert Abuse and Coercive Control Overview: Part 2
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a two-part overview of covert abuse and coercive control. This second video involves a deep dive into the minds of victims, survivors and perpetrators of covert abuse. Ruth explains the impact of covert abuse on survivors and the motives behind perpetrators' behavior. This discussion covers the pathway to freedom for survivors of abuse, from risk assessment to breaking the cycle and starting the healing process.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a two-part overview of covert abuse and coercive control. This second video involves a deep dive into the minds of victims, survivors and perpetrators of covert abuse. Ruth explains the impact of covert abuse on survivors and the motives behind perpetrators' behavior. This discussion covers the pathway to freedom for survivors of abuse, from risk assessment to breaking the cycle and starting the healing process.
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Video timestamps:
0:00 Anyone can be a victim or perpetrator
1:21 What do abuse survivors / victims look like?
5:32 Lovebombing, grooming and manipulation silence intuition
7:13 Trauma has a dissociative effect
9:04 Physical DV breaks bones, covert abuse breaks minds
9:42 When is the right time to leave a covert abuser?
14:31 What does a covert abuser look like?
21:23 The Dark Tetrad
31:03 What motivates a covert abuser?
31:36 Covert threats
42:28 The abuser's M.O.
46:41 WEB Scale
54:27 Pathway to freedom
1:17:21 Mental health recovery after abuse
1:22:19 The importance of self-care
1:25:38 Breaking the cycle of abuse
1:34:29 Examples of self-care
1:46:51 Leaving your comfort zone
1:53:36 Thank you to our community partners
Deep Dive Into Covert Abuse and Coercive Control for Christian Therapists: Part 2
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a training to help Christian therapists understand and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. In this second half of the two-part training, Ruth discusses the impact of domestic violence on children and adults, potential hazards of therapeutic intervention with a covert abuser, considerations for providing trauma-informed care to survivors, tips for helping survivors tell their story and resources for assessing situations involving domestic abuse.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a training to help Christian therapists understand and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. In this second half of the two-part training, Ruth discusses the impact of domestic violence on children and adults, potential hazards of therapeutic intervention with a covert abuser, considerations for providing trauma-informed care to survivors, tips for helping survivors tell their story and resources for assessing situations involving domestic abuse.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is intended for educational purposes only. This training is presented as a trauma-informed informational resource to empower therapists with a deeper understanding of covert abuse and coercive control. Ruth Darlene is an advocate, not a therapist, and WomenSV does not offer or practice therapy.
Video timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
2:42 Impact of DV on children and adults
25:48 Hazards of therapeutic intervention with a covert abuser
43:46 Hazards of couples counseling
46:09 Trauma informed care of survivors
53:21 Helping survivors tell their story
58:38 Self-care
Deep Dive Into Covert Abuse and Coercive Control for Christian Therapists: Part 1
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a compassionate perspective that empowers Christian therapists to recognize and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. This training video covers the definition and characteristics of covert abuse and coercive control, with true stories to illustrate examples of real-life situations that therapists might encounter with their clients.
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, presents a compassionate perspective that empowers Christian therapists to recognize and support survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. This training video covers the definition and characteristics of covert abuse and coercive control, with true stories to illustrate examples of real-life situations that therapists might encounter with their clients.
As you watch, you will gain a deeper understanding of both survivors and perpetrators of subtle forms of abuse. The discussion includes an overview of the Power and Control Wheel, the cycle of violence, lethality risks associated with coercive control, the slippery slope of how abusive relationships escalate over time, societal pressures that often silence survivors and the impacts of domestic violence.
We’ll dive into different types of coercive control, including overt coercive control, covert coercive control, covert abuse, verbal abuse, and various forms of emotional abuse such as gaslighting.
Stick around to the end to hear us talk about navigating the concept of being a good Christian wife while recognizing covert abuse and coercive control. Being a good, kind, loving Christian does not mean you have to tolerate abuse!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is intended for educational purposes only. This training is presented as a trauma-informed informational resource to empower therapists with a deeper understanding of covert abuse and coercive control. Ruth Darlene is an advocate, not a therapist, and WomenSV does not offer or practice therapy.
Video timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
5:23 IPV Statistics
7:19 The Equality Wheel
8:21 The Power and Control Wheel
9:43 The cycle of violence
12:57 Domestic violence definition
14:34 Family Code 6320
16:29 Coercive control definition
25:48 Overt coercive control - verbal
27:14 Overt coercive control - physical
28:53 Covert coercive control
32:54 Covert threats
38:09 Gaslighting
38:30 The slippery slope of abusive relationships
39:22 DV in affluent areas
40:05 Recognizing and understanding survivors / victims of DV
43:58 Impact of DV on survivors
48:36 Recognizing and understanding perpetrators of DV
53:11 Abuse is the opposite of love
54:34 Q+A
WomenSV: Serving survivors of covert domestic violence
Help support WomenSV by making a contribution to the LATC Holiday Fund! It is through the support of community partners such as the Holiday Fund that WomenSV is able to serve survivors of covert abuse and coercive control.
Help support WomenSV by making a contribution to the LATC Holiday Fund! It is through the support of community partners such as the Holiday Fund that WomenSV is able to serve survivors of covert abuse and coercive control. For more information and to make a donation, visit the article linked below!
From Trauma to Triumph: Executive Summary Workshop Presentation at the Domestic Violence Conference
Watch as Rachel McKenzie presents "From Trauma to Triumph: Executive Summary Workshop" at the County of Santa Clara's 30th Annual Domestic Violence Conference, on behalf of WomenSV.
Watch as Rachel McKenzie presents "From Trauma to Triumph: Executive Summary Workshop" at the County of Santa Clara's 30th Annual Domestic Violence Conference, on behalf of WomenSV.
Created by Ruth Darlene, founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, the Executive Summary Workshop is a powerful tool to assist domestic violence survivors in navigating the challenging journey of summarizing their experiences in a clear and concise manner, enabling effective communication with others.
For survivors, putting traumatic experiences into words can be a daunting task, yet it is a crucial step in seeking support. Recognizing this challenge, WomenSV developed a systematic approach to assist survivors in this process.
We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Rachel McKenzie for leading this presentation, sharing valuable insights and offering unwavering support to domestic violence survivors. Together, we strive to empower survivors on their journey from trauma to triumph.
Join us in this important conversation, and together, let's make a difference in the lives of those who have endured and overcome domestic violence.
Sign up for our newsletter and view contact information to schedule a training here.
To donate and help support our mission, click here.
K-LOVE Interview with Ruth Darlene of WomenSV about Covert Abuse and Coercive Control
K-LOVE interviewed Ruth Darlene, Executive Director and founder of WomenSV about subtle forms of domestic violence including covert abuse and coercive control.
K-LOVE interviewed Ruth Darlene, Executive Director and founder of WomenSV about subtle forms of domestic violence including covert abuse and coercive control.
The radio interview is now available on our YouTube channel and on K-LOVE’s website! Check it out at the links below.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month Proclamation: WomenSV and Sunnyvale City Council
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and we're proud to share that Ruth Darlene, the founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, joined the City of Sunnyvale's Council meeting to raise awareness about this important month.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and we're proud to share that Ruth Darlene, the founder and Executive Director of WomenSV, joined the City of Sunnyvale's Council meeting to raise awareness about this important month. WomenSV, short for Women of Silicon Valley, is a Bay Area nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering survivors, training service providers, and educating our community about the insidious cycle of covert abuse and coercive control in intimate partner relationships. Domestic violence knows no boundaries; it touches communities across the Bay Area and around the world. By shining a light on this critical issue, we stand together in solidarity with survivors and let them know they are never alone. 💜
Watch the recording on our YouTube channel!
WomenSV Empowers Survivors and Transforms Communities with Support from the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors
At WomenSV we are committed to constantly evolving in order to maximize the positive impact of our programs and services. It is with deep gratitude that we share the results of our efforts over the past year that have been made possible thanks to the support of the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors.
At WomenSV we are committed to constantly evolving in order to maximize the positive impact of our programs and services. It is with deep gratitude that we share the results of our efforts over the past year that have been made possible thanks to the support of the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors. Their generous grant of $250,000, spanning four years, has enabled our organization to expand the reach of our services for domestic violence survivors.
WomenSV's mission is to empower survivors, train providers, and educate the community to combat covert abuse and coercive control in intimate partner relationships. We envision a world where every woman and child can live in peace, safety and freedom in their own homes. Our unique focus on covert abuse and coercive control enables us to assist survivors ensnared in relationships with powerful and sophisticated abusers who employ subtle forms of abuse to control and manipulate their partners.
For over a decade, WomenSV has been at the forefront of this critical work, directly assisting over 1,400 women experiencing subtle and insidious forms of abuse. The disbursement of $62,500 for the second year of the grant’s four-year initiative has allowed us to make continued progress toward our goals.
WomenSV’s milestones accomplished over the past fiscal year include:
Community impact: WomenSV provided direct support to 165 survivors and conducted 999 client interactions, totaling over 1,641 hours of direct client services.
Support group expansion: The number of weekly support groups tripled, offering tailored programs for survivors at different stages of their journey to find freedom from abusive relationships.
Team expansion: The grant allowed WomenSV to hire a new Domestic Abuse Advocate and Volunteer Coordinator, increasing our capacity for services.
Enhanced support: Funding from the grant enabled us to employ a new Administrative Assistant and Social Media Coordinator, bolstering our capacity to reach and assist survivors.
Advocate mastery: Two key Advocates demonstrated mastery of WomenSV's body of knowledge on coercive control and covert abuse, offering direct support to survivors and taking on greater responsibilities in running day-to-day operations.
Program development: WomenSV introduced a new Executive Summary Workshop program, where Advocates help survivors of coercive control articulate their story and goals effectively.
Youth program: WomenSV initiated the development of a Young Adult and Youth Program to educate teens and young adults about early warning signs of coercive control.
Training and outreach: WomenSV provided 14 presentations and trainings to various organizations and providers, reaching over 1,200 individuals within the community and beyond.
WomenSV's annual survey of survivors, conducted in November 2022, measured the following impacts:
89% of survivors reported improved identification and handling of subtle forms of abuse.
85% felt more equipped to make informed choices regarding their safety.
89% were connected with vital resources and providers.
82% of survivors reported feeling more empowered.
As we move forward, we remain dedicated to continuously increasing our positive impact with a renewed focus on education. Our organization is currently growing its capacity for survivor support while building greater community awareness through specialized trauma-informed training programs for professionals working in technology, law enforcement, justice and healthcare systems.
Key priorities for the future include rapidly expanding our infrastructure and programs in close collaboration with our community to ensure our actions continue to make a meaningful difference in the lives of domestic violence survivors. As we work toward making education on subtle forms of domestic abuse more accessible to all, we are also strengthening our defenses against online harassment in order to maintain a safe supportive environment while equipping survivors with vital information to help them thrive.
We are looking forward to the future and immensely grateful for the support of our community and the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors which has enabled us to make significant strides in empowering survivors and educating our community on covert abuse and coercive control.
WomenSV at the 30th Annual Domestic Violence Conference
WomenSV is honored to announce that our Executive Director Ruth Darlene's proposal was accepted for presentation this year at the 30th Annual Domestic Violence Conference, "Thirty Years of Growth: Lessons Learned and Addressing Root Causes of Domestic Violence".
WomenSV is honored to announce that our Executive Director Ruth Darlene's proposal was accepted for presentation this year at the 30th Annual Domestic Violence Conference taking place on Friday October 13th from 8am to 4:30pm.
With the theme of "Thirty Years of Growth: Lessons Learned and Addressing Root Causes of Domestic Violence," this year's conference marks an opportunity to celebrate our journey, learn from our history, and work collaboratively to pave the way for a future free from domestic violence.
For registration information and conference details, visit the link below.
Empowering Change: WomenSV's New Focus on Education and Prevention of Subtle Domestic Abuse
Over the past 12 years, WomenSV has offered support to more than 1,400 survivors of domestic abuse. Guided by an unyielding commitment to our core mission of empowering survivors, training providers, and educating the public about covert abuse and coercive control, WomenSV has entered a new phase of evolution that holds the promise of even greater impact and community transformation. As the world changes, so too does our approach, and we are excited to share our renewed focus on education and prevention in the realm of subtle domestic abuse.
Over the past 12 years, WomenSV has offered support to more than 1,400 survivors of domestic abuse. Guided by an unyielding commitment to our core mission of empowering survivors, training providers, and educating the public about covert abuse and coercive control, WomenSV has entered a new phase of evolution that holds the promise of even greater impact and community transformation. As the world changes, so too does our approach, and we are excited to share our renewed focus on education and prevention in the realm of subtle domestic abuse.
A Resolute Mission
Founded with a resolute mission to empower survivors with the tools and support they need to reclaim their lives, WomenSV has served as a beacon of hope for those navigating the tumultuous waters of covert abuse. Our journey thus far has been marked by dedication, compassion, and a deep understanding of the complex dynamics that survivors face. We have stood by survivors, walked with them through their healing, and worked tirelessly to ensure their voices are heard.
A New Chapter Unfolds
Today, we stand at the cusp of a new chapter in our organization's journey. Recognizing the evolving needs of survivors and the broader community, WomenSV is embracing education as a cornerstone for lasting change. While our commitment to empowering survivors remains steadfast, our expanded focus on education and prevention is a natural progression, driven by a desire to create a safer world for all.
Education: A Pathway to Empowerment
Education is empowerment, and this philosophy fuels our new direction. By equipping survivors, community members, and professionals with the knowledge and tools to recognize, address, and prevent subtle forms of domestic abuse, we are building a stronger support system for those impacted by coercive control. We believe that informed individuals are better positioned to break free from the chains of abuse and to assist others in their journey to liberation.
Empowering Systems, Protecting Survivors
As we move forward, our focus will be on strengthening our community and provider education. Survivors often encounter a labyrinth of services, and inadvertent re-victimization can occur during this journey. By educating these systems—medical professionals, law enforcement, legal entities, and more—we ensure survivors are met with compassion, understanding, and the support they deserve. This approach amplifies our impact, safeguarding not only the survivors but also those who stand alongside them.
Adapting to the Times
While we remain based in Los Altos, our reach has expanded beyond geographic boundaries. In response to the changing landscape, WomenSV now offers all services remotely, bolstering our ability to serve survivors regardless of their location. This evolution ensures that survivors, regardless of their geographic constraints, can access the support and resources they need to heal and thrive.
Looking Ahead
Our evolution is an ongoing journey, and we are excited to share more about our educational initiatives, provider trainings, and community outreach in the near future. You are warmly invited to stay connected with us on social media, so please click here for a list of all our links!
In the spirit of growth, empowerment, and unity, all of us at WomenSV offer deep gratitude for all of your support in making this transformation possible. Together, we can continue to reshape the narrative around domestic abuse, cultivate awareness, and empower change that resonates for generations to come.
How WomenSV Helps Domestic Violence Survivors
WomenSV helps domestic violence survivors find validation, empowerment, and a sense of hope as they break free from the cycle of coercive control and covert abuse.
For survivors of domestic violence, the journey to healing and rebuilding their lives can be overwhelming and isolating. Domestic violence nonprofit WomenSV is making a significant impact in the lives of survivors, particularly those who have experienced covert abuse and coercive control. Through their programs and services, WomenSV empowers survivors, trains providers, and educates the community to break the cycle of abuse in intimate partner relationships. WomenSV, helps domestic violence survivors find validation, empowerment, and a sense of hope as they break free from the cycle of abuse.
Surviving and Thriving: Life After Covert Abuse
Recently we were asked what keeps us inspired to do the work we do at WomenSV. The powerful stories of resilience, healing and hope shared by our community are a constant reminder that with the right support, even massive challenges can be overcome.
Recently we were asked what keeps us inspired to do the work we do at WomenSV. The stories of resilience, healing and hope shared by our community are a constant reminder that with the right support, even massive challenges can be overcome.
A survivor of coercive control and covert abuse reached out to us for help, whom we will call Lucy for anonymity purposes. She came to us lost, distressed, and broken after her husband engineered an arrest and restraining order against her. This is something we see often with powerful and sophisticated covert abusers who are charming, resourceful, and intelligent. Often, covert abusers poke and provoke their partners until they have a “survivor reaction” where the victim may end up saying something they regret or doing something they normally wouldn’t. The abuser then records the victim and calls the police, and in turn, shows the recording to the officers and the victim ends up getting arrested, issued a restraining order, and/or put on a 5150. This is exactly what happened to Lucy. Her husband recorded her, falsified an incident where he painted himself as the victim of abuse, and got Lucy arrested. She had criminal charges issued against her, a restraining order, kicked out of her house, and her two children taken away from her.
While we do not get involved in the legal process, we were able to offer Lucy education, validation, support, and safety planning. We let Lucy know she wasn’t alone and we were going to do everything we could to support her. She has attended support groups nearly every week since we met her where we have watched her transform from a survivor who couldn’t share her story without breaking down in tears to a warrior woman who is finding meaning in her story. We went to the police station with Lucy where we helped her share her story with an officer to offer safety planning and create an incident report. This is something we often do with survivors. They can speak with an officer and share their story, letting them know that there is no crime in progress and they aren’t in imminent danger. But, they just want to share their story and get extra safety planning from an officer.
In addition to providing another source of high level safety planning, developing a relationship with local law enforcement also served to help her begin to build trust again in a system that is designed to serve and protect the innocent but often gets manipulated by a covert abuser.
We have also helped Lucy with our Executive Summary Workshop where we are helping her detail the abuse in a concise, coherent and organized way which is very challenging for a survivor who has been engulfed in fear and trauma. We continue to see Lucy and celebrate her wins, hold her during her losses, and safety plan with her always.
Lucy, today, has no criminal charges pending against her. She has gone from paying thousands of dollars for supervised visitations to 50-50% custody of her children. She recently has been able to go back to her children’s schools where she was welcomed with open arms and was filled with tears of joy talking to us about seeing her daughter’s school play. Lucy recently told WomenSV that she was so grateful to us because when she met us, it was the first time she felt like she could get through this. She knew someone was going to be with her every step of the way and she finally saw hope.
We've also reached out to the District Attorney’s Office to share with them our experience working with over 1400 survivors so they can more easily spot and respond to common tactics used by sophisticated and resourceful covert abusers in the legal and court system, saving survivors from further risk.
That’s our goal here at WomenSV. We not only shed light on coercive control and covert abuse. We strive to serve as beacons of hope to survivors, letting them know that as long as we are here, they will never again be alone.
The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children and How to Help Them Heal
In this article, Ruth Darlene Patrick of WomenSV shares the impact of domestic violence on children and how to help them heal.
In this article, Ruth Darlene Patrick of WomenSV shares the impact of domestic violence on children and how to help them heal.
Thank you, El Camino Healthcare District!
WomenSV is grateful to the El Camino Healthcare District for their generous support of our work and for helping us continue to serve survivors of coercive control and covert abuse. 💜
WomenSV is grateful to the El Camino Healthcare District for their generous support of our work and for helping us continue to serve survivors of coercive control and covert abuse. 💜
Ruth Darlene Patrick, WomenSV, on Healing After Domestic Violence
"Being surrounded by individuals who truly understand and empathize with your journey can be immensely empowering. It reminds survivors that they are not alone and that healing is possible."
Learn more about healing after domestic violence from Ruth Darlene Patrick of WomenSV in this article.
"Being surrounded by individuals who truly understand and empathize with your journey can be immensely empowering. It reminds survivors that they are not alone and that healing is possible."
Learn more about healing after domestic violence from Ruth Darlene Patrick of WomenSV in this article.
11 Ways to Create a Safe Home as a Survivor of Domestic Violence
Via Today's Homeowner: In this article we will shed some light on the crucial steps involved in preparing to leave an abuser. We’ll delve into how to navigate the barriers that often hinder escape, and how to build a safe and secure life in the aftermath, armed with the right resources and support. Because leaving is not just about ending the abuse—it’s about starting anew, on one’s own terms.
Via Today's Homeowner: In this article we will shed some light on the crucial steps involved in preparing to leave an abuser. We’ll delve into how to navigate the barriers that often hinder escape, and how to build a safe and secure life in the aftermath, armed with the right resources and support. Because leaving is not just about ending the abuse—it’s about starting anew, on one’s own terms.
Ruth Darlene Patrick, Founder of WomenSV on How to Help a Friend Who is Experiencing Domestic Violence
To support a friend experiencing domestic violence, it's vital to recognize the signs of abuse, approach the friend with care, offer emotional support, and supply valuable resources and practical assistance. By taking these steps, we can contribute to breaking the cycle of abuse and empowering survivors to build healthier lives for themselves and their children.
Learn more from Ruth Darlene Patrick, Founder of WomenSV on How to Help a Friend Who is Experiencing Domestic Violence in this article.
To support a friend experiencing domestic violence, it's vital to recognize the signs of abuse, approach the friend with care, offer emotional support, and supply valuable resources and practical assistance. By taking these steps, we can contribute to breaking the cycle of abuse and empowering survivors to build healthier lives for themselves and their children.
Learn more from Ruth Darlene Patrick, Founder of WomenSV on How to Help a Friend Who is Experiencing Domestic Violence in the article linked below.
Ruth Darlene Patrick, Founder of WomenSV on Myths and Facts About Domestic Violence: Debunking Common Misconceptions
Ruth Darlene Patrick, Founder of WomenSV explains myths and facts about domestic violence, debunking common misconceptions. Read the full article
Ruth Darlene Patrick, Founder of WomenSV explains myths and facts about domestic violence, debunking common misconceptions. Read the full article in the link below.
WomenSV's Ruth Darlene Patrick on Combating Technology Control and Domestic Abuse
In the hands of domestic abusers, tools like tracking apps, spyware, and social media platforms can become instruments of manipulation, harassment and control. Get more information from WomenSV's Ruth Darlene Patrick on Combating Technology Control and Domestic Abuse in this article.
In the hands of domestic abusers, tools like tracking apps, spyware, and social media platforms can become instruments of manipulation, harassment and control. Get more information from WomenSV's Ruth Darlene Patrick on Combating Technology Control and Domestic Abuse in this article.