Confronting Domestic Violence: Be on alert for the covert abuser
She learns that a covert abuser is not like a regular perpetrator of domestic violence. Fists and blows are beneath him. There may have been a moment or two when he put his hands on her – but for the most part, he hasn’t had to resort to such crude methods of control. And it only ever had to happen once for it ever to be hanging in the air again as a possibility. He is 60 pounds heavier, barrel-chested. Read more
Confronting Domestic Violence: The covert abuser takes away her power
For a time, she finds solace in gardening, planting a bed full of roses that have recently burst into full bloom. She smiles to herself as she prunes and waters. Here is a bed that still brings her joy. Read more
Confronting Domestic Violence: How the covert abuser inflicts invisible wounds
As he finishes his summary of the many reasons why no other man would ever want her, she struggles into the dress that had once fit so well – before he had told her that if she ever left him, he would take the children. Read more
Confronting Domestic Violence: The covert abuser casts himself as hero
Nearly a 100 years ago, Ernest Hemingway wrote a book about bullfighting. In it, he described in loving detail the ambush of a trapped animal by a dozen armed men, surrounded in turn by a thousand bloodthirsty fans cheering until the last fatal blow was struck, reminiscent of gladiator days. Now, in our modern, evolved era, we have boxing or MMA to slake the common man’s taste for bread and circuses. And for covert abusers, we have social gatherings. Read more
Recognizing the warning signs of coercive control
When it comes to identifying and protecting ourselves from coercive control, education is the best form of intervention – and the earlier the better. Read more.
Confronting Domestic Violence: Education proves best form of protection
"The challenge in escaping from an abusive relationship is not to end up becoming the thing you fled. Some survivors go down a dark road, where they end up adopting some of the attributes and strategies of the partner they left – they are quick to anger, to go on the attack. Confronted with the fight/flight/freeze response to trauma, they end up in perpetual 'fight.'" Read more.
Confronting Domestic Violence: Subtle forms of abuse wear victims down
“In this column, I want to look at those professionals at the far end of the bell curve, the outliers, the ones who use their knowledge, education and credentials to control and coerce the very ones they should be protecting the most.” Read more.
Confronting Domestic Violence: The impacts of coercive control
If I give my heart to you, I am trusting that you will treat it with love and tenderness. But what happens when that trust is betrayed and I end up living in fear, a prisoner in my own home?
“If I give my heart to you, I am trusting that you will treat it with love and tenderness. But what happens when that trust is betrayed and I end up living in fear, a prisoner in my own home?” Read more.
WomenSV: Empowering survivors of domestic violence
The COVID-19 health crisis and extended stay-at-home restrictions are devastating for survivors who are forced into close contact with their abuser 24/7. This has led to a significant increase in calls for WomenSV’s services. The organization’s waitlist has doubled, appointments are booking four to five weeks out, and support group attendance has tripled from 10 to 30-35 survivors.
The COVID-19 health crisis and extended stay-at-home restrictions are devastating for survivors who are forced into close contact with their abuser 24/7. This has led to a significant increase in calls for WomenSV’s services. The organization’s waitlist has doubled, appointments are booking four to five weeks out, and support group attendance has tripled from 10 to 30-35 survivors. Read more.
Holiday Fund celebrates 20 years of support for nonprofits
The Los Altos Town Crier Holiday Fund is launching its 20th year supporting local nonprofit organizations that serve a wide range of needs in the community.
The Los Altos Town Crier Holiday Fund is launching its 20th year supporting local nonprofit organizations that serve a wide range of needs in the community. Read more.
Confronting Domestic Violence: New state legislation addresses coercive control
A new law passed Oct. 1 in the California State Legislature incorporates coercive control into the definition of domestic violence, at least in family court. Under Senate Bill 1141, coercive control can be grounds for a restraining order and, if violated, becomes grounds for a criminal charge.
A new law passed Oct. 1 in the California State Legislature incorporates coercive control into the definition of domestic violence, at least in family court. Under Senate Bill 1141, coercive control can be grounds for a restraining order and, if violated, becomes grounds for a criminal charge. Read more.
Confronting Domestic Violence: The tactics of covert abusers
Coercive control in an intimate partner relationship is a subtle, strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism. It’s designed to dominate an intimate partner by instilling fear.
Coercive control in an intimate partner relationship is a subtle, strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism. It’s designed to dominate an intimate partner by instilling fear. Read more.
Confronting Domestic Violence: The Issue of Invisible Abuse
WomenSV’s Executive Director Ruth Darlene’s 7-part series began on November 11 in the Los Altos Town Crier and will appear weekly. It’s about more subtle forms of abuse/coercive control and SB 1141 which goes into effect in family court in January, 2021, incorporating coercive control into the definition of domestic violence. Read more.
Financial Abuse in Marriages: Warning Signs and How to Get Help
Domestic financial abuse is not limited to any one part of society. The fact is, financial abuse not only takes place among the wealthy, it can be especially intense and ugly among the more successful middle and upper classes. Read more
Lemon Cakes and Eyeliner - Using Social Media to Combat Domestic Abuse during a Pandemic
WomenSV Director of Marketing, Maria Walters writes about the efficacy of social media as a tool to combat abuse during a pandemic.
Los Altos Town Crier: Confronting Domestic Violence
WomenSV Founder and Executive Director has a series of articles in the Los Altos Town Crier on what victims of domestic violence who must continue to live with their abusers during the quarantine.
April 8, 2020: How to survive domestic abuse during quarantine
April 15, 2020: Planning strategies in battle against an abuser
April 22, 2020: Survivor practices the deceit of 'business as usual'
April 29 2020: Vital lifelines cut off, she faces abusive husband alone
May 6, 2020: Did the sound of husband's car drive her to drink?
May 13, 2020: Thanks to support group, woman takes her power back
New York Times Wirecutter: Domestic Abusers Can Control Your Devices. Here’s How to Fight Back.
New York Times product recommendation site, Wire Cutter interviews WomenSV’s Executive Director Ruth Darlene and other DV experts on using technology to coerce and control an intimate partner...
New York Times product recommendation site, Wire Cutter interviews WomenSV’s Executive Director Ruth Darlene and other DV experts on using technology to coerce and control an intimate partner...
Wall Street Journal: Financial Abuse in the Age of Smartphones
“Technology is making spousal financial abuse easier, particularly among affluent Americans.
Smartphones and tracking devices have given abusive partners more tools to surveil and control their spouses, according to advocates for victims. At the same time, though, technology is also helping victims discover hidden assets.”
WomenSV Founder speaks to the Wall Street Journal about Financial Abuse.
“Technology is making spousal financial abuse easier, particularly among affluent Americans.
Smartphones and tracking devices have given abusive partners more tools to surveil and control their spouses, according to advocates for victims. At the same time, though, technology is also helping victims discover hidden assets.”
WomenSV Founder speaks to the Wall Street Journal about Financial Abuse.
Survive Divorce: Divorcing an Abusive Husband (What Every Woman Needs to Know)
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Jason Crowley interviews executive director of WomenSV Ruth Darlene domestic financial abuse…
Few situations in marriage can leave a woman feeling more powerless and fearing for her safety that being in an abusive relationship with her husband.
It is not a situation that happens overnight. Abuse is a gradual process that goes down a long and dangerous slope and creates far-reaching emotional, physical and financial consequences.
There are steps an abused wife can take to escape, but these take planning and effort while still trying to manage the day-to-day minefields of an abusive marriage.
Stanford Daily: Confidential women’s support group tackles abuse in affluent areas
“This is one of society’s best-kept dirty secrets — that abuse happens even in affluent areas,” Ruth Darlene said.
In 2011, Darlene was researching eating disorders of young women at the Stanford Center for Research in Disease Prevention. But in the process of meeting with health professionals and young people to develop her curriculum for Bay Area high schools on eating disorders, Darlene began to see a recurring problem in the homes of Silicon Valley: abuse. When women Darlene personally knew identified abuse in their own relationships, she thought it was time to make a change.