Women SV 5/27/21 Women SV 5/27/21

Confronting Domestic Violence: Waging a ‘scorched earth’ campaign on partner

The photo of her fish tank now becomes Exhibit A in the covert abuser’s own case against his partner, a case he has been building for a while now. He has already begun planting those first few seeds of doubt in the minds of mutual friends after discovering she has been secretly consulting attorneys. Read more

Women SV 5/21/21 Women SV 5/21/21

Confronting Domestic Violence: Games abusers play – It’s all about control

War, chess, poker, Monopoly: just some of the games the covert abuser likes to play. Read more

Women SV 4/28/21 Women SV 4/28/21

Confronting Domestic Violence: Be on alert for the covert abuser

She learns that a covert abuser is not like a regular perpetrator of domestic violence. Fists and blows are beneath him. There may have been a moment or two when he put his hands on her – but for the most part, he hasn’t had to resort to such crude methods of control. And it only ever had to happen once for it ever to be hanging in the air again as a possibility. He is 60 pounds heavier, barrel-chested. Read more

Women SV 4/21/21 Women SV 4/21/21

Confronting Domestic Violence: The covert abuser takes away her power

For a time, she finds solace in gardening, planting a bed full of roses that have recently burst into full bloom. She smiles to herself as she prunes and waters. Here is a bed that still brings her joy. Read more

Women SV 4/14/21 Women SV 4/14/21

Confronting Domestic Violence: How the covert abuser inflicts invisible wounds

As he finishes his summary of the many reasons why no other man would ever want her, she struggles into the dress that had once fit so well – before he had told her that if she ever left him, he would take the children. Read more

Women SV 4/7/21 Women SV 4/7/21

Confronting Domestic Violence: The covert abuser casts himself as hero

Nearly a 100 years ago, Ernest Hemingway wrote a book about bullfighting. In it, he described in loving detail the ambush of a trapped animal by a dozen armed men, surrounded in turn by a thousand bloodthirsty fans cheering until the last fatal blow was struck, reminiscent of gladiator days. Now, in our modern, evolved era, we have boxing or MMA to slake the common man’s taste for bread and circuses. And for covert abusers, we have social gatherings. Read more

Women SV 12/23/20 Women SV 12/23/20

Recognizing the warning signs of coercive control

When it comes to identifying and protecting ourselves from coercive control, education is the best form of intervention – and the earlier the better. Read more.

Women SV 12/17/20 Women SV 12/17/20

Confronting Domestic Violence: Education proves best form of protection

"The challenge in escaping from an abusive relationship is not to end up becoming the thing you fled. Some survivors go down a dark road, where they end up adopting some of the attributes and strategies of the partner they left – they are quick to anger, to go on the attack. Confronted with the fight/flight/freeze response to trauma, they end up in perpetual 'fight.'" Read more.

Women SV 12/10/20 Women SV 12/10/20

Confronting Domestic Violence: Subtle forms of abuse wear victims down

“In this column, I want to look at those professionals at the far end of the bell curve, the outliers, the ones who use their knowledge, education and credentials to control and coerce the very ones they should be protecting the most.” Read more.

Women SV 12/4/20 Women SV 12/4/20

Confronting Domestic Violence: The impacts of coercive control

If I give my heart to you, I am trusting that you will treat it with love and tenderness. But what happens when that trust is betrayed and I end up living in fear, a prisoner in my own home?

“If I give my heart to you, I am trusting that you will treat it with love and tenderness. But what happens when that trust is betrayed and I end up living in fear, a prisoner in my own home?” Read more.

Women SV 11/25/20 Women SV 11/25/20

WomenSV: Empowering survivors of domestic violence

The COVID-19 health crisis and extended stay-at-home restrictions are devastating for survivors who are forced into close contact with their abuser 24/7. This has led to a significant increase in calls for WomenSV’s services. The organization’s waitlist has doubled, appointments are booking four to five weeks out, and support group attendance has tripled from 10 to 30-35 survivors.

Women SV 11/25/20 Women SV 11/25/20

Holiday Fund celebrates 20 years of support for nonprofits

The Los Altos Town Crier Holiday Fund is launching its 20th year supporting local nonprofit organizations that serve a wide range of needs in the community.

The Los Altos Town Crier Holiday Fund is launching its 20th year supporting local nonprofit organizations that serve a wide range of needs in the community. Read more.

Women SV 11/25/20 Women SV 11/25/20

Confronting Domestic Violence: New state legislation addresses coercive control

A new law passed Oct. 1 in the California State Legislature incorporates coercive control into the definition of domestic violence, at least in family court. Under Senate Bill 1141, coercive control can be grounds for a restraining order and, if violated, becomes grounds for a criminal charge.

Women SV 11/25/20 Women SV 11/25/20

Confronting Domestic Violence: The tactics of covert abusers

Coercive control in an intimate partner relationship is a subtle, strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism. It’s designed to dominate an intimate partner by instilling fear.

Coercive control in an intimate partner relationship is a subtle, strategic form of ongoing oppression and terrorism. It’s designed to dominate an intimate partner by instilling fear. Read more.

Women SV 11/13/20 Women SV 11/13/20

Confronting Domestic Violence: The Issue of Invisible Abuse

WomenSV’s Executive Director Ruth Darlene’s 7-part series began on November 11 in the Los Altos Town Crier and will appear weekly. It’s about more subtle forms of abuse/coercive control and SB 1141 which goes into effect in family court in January, 2021, incorporating coercive control into the definition of domestic violence. Read more.

Women SV 8/7/20 Women SV 8/7/20

Financial Abuse in Marriages: Warning Signs and How to Get Help

Domestic financial abuse is not limited to any one part of society. The fact is, financial abuse not only takes place among the wealthy, it can be especially intense and ugly among the more successful middle and upper classes. Read more

Women SV 4/23/20 Women SV 4/23/20

Lemon Cakes and Eyeliner - Using Social Media to Combat Domestic Abuse during a Pandemic

WomenSV Director of Marketing, Maria Walters writes about the efficacy of social media as a tool to combat abuse during a pandemic.

Los Altos Town Crier: Confronting Domestic Violence

WomenSV Founder and Executive Director has a series of articles in the Los Altos Town Crier on what victims of domestic violence who must continue to live with their abusers during the quarantine.

April 8, 2020: How to survive domestic abuse during quarantine
April 15, 2020: Planning strategies in battle against an abuser
April 22, 2020: Survivor practices the deceit of 'business as usual'
April 29 2020: Vital lifelines cut off, she faces abusive husband alone
May 6, 2020: Did the sound of husband's car drive her to drink?
May 13, 2020: Thanks to support group, woman takes her power back

Women SV 4/6/20 Women SV 4/6/20

New York Times Wirecutter: Domestic Abusers Can Control Your Devices. Here’s How to Fight Back.

New York Times product recommendation site, Wire Cutter interviews WomenSV’s Executive Director Ruth Darlene and other DV experts on using technology to coerce and control an intimate partner...

Women SV 12/23/19 Women SV 12/23/19

Wall Street Journal: Financial Abuse in the Age of Smartphones

“Technology is making spousal financial abuse easier, particularly among affluent Americans.

Smartphones and tracking devices have given abusive partners more tools to surveil and control their spouses, according to advocates for victims. At the same time, though, technology is also helping victims discover hidden assets.”

WomenSV Founder speaks to the Wall Street Journal about Financial Abuse.

“Technology is making spousal financial abuse easier, particularly among affluent Americans.

WomenSV Founder speaks to the Wall Street Journal about Financial Abuse.