Covert Abuse and Coercive Control Training Online for Advocates, Survivors and Service Providers
Learn to identify, document, and respond to covert abuse and coercive control: Get covert abuse and coercive control training online. Join the online workshop for survivors, advocates, and service providers.
Getting covert abuse and coercive control training online can empower you and those you care about to overcome even the most insidious forms of domestic abuse. Whether you are a survivor, an advocate, a service provider or an ally, specialized training can help you address the unique challenges that come with covert abuse and coercive control. If you are ready to equip yourself with the knowledge and tools you need to keep yourself and your loved ones safe from subtle forms of abuse, this article is for you.
A quick note before we get started: The information in this article is from our online coercive control training, Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop. This 90-minute class uses a trauma-informed approach to teach survivors and service providers how to recognize and report multiple forms of domestic abuse, including emotional, financial, legal, technological and other types of coercive control, in addition to physical and sexual violence.
Class participants will learn how to document abuse with a concise, two-page summary that can be adapted according to each individual's specific situation, audience and goals. This “Executive Summary” is a flexible, trauma-informed tool that helps survivors, advocates and providers organize key facts into a format that is understandable and actionable. Whether it’s going to court, speaking with law enforcement, preparing for therapy or safety planning, this summary can be tailored to meet a wide range of needs. When survivors have a way to share their story clearly and concisely, they no longer have to relive every traumatic detail every time they ask for help, and can begin to reclaim power over their lives.
If you're looking for specialized, in-depth training on covert abuse and coercive control, or a guide to help yourself or other survivors speak out, make sure to join us. Click here to learn more and sign up for instant access.
Obtaining coercive control training online can provide practical steps and solutions to help survivors move forward with their lives, even if at first they are unsure of where to start. Some of the most common questions survivors ask are “How do I explain what happened to me?” or “How can I prove coercive control happened if there’s no forensic evidence to show for it?”
This article and our new workshop will help survivors find their voice again and tell their story so they get the help and protection they deserve.
Becoming empowered with coercive control training online
Coercive control has only recently begun to receive the attention it deserves, and public awareness is still catching up. Despite its devastating impact, coercive control remains under-recognized in professional training programs. Providers across multiple fields - including healthcare, domestic violence advocates, education, law enforcement, and the legal system - often report receiving little to no formal training on how to recognize or respond to it.
This gap in education is what makes specialized training so essential. There are still very few educational programs that cover coercive control in the level of detail necessary to truly support survivors. Even the most extensive counseling psychology, social work and domestic violence advocate training programs tend to include little information about coercive control. Getting coercive control training online fills that gap by focusing on how to identify and address more subtle forms of abuse, including emotional, financial, legal and technological.
Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop is also intentionally designed to be trauma-informed. Participants are encouraged to take breaks, pace themselves, and practice self-care throughout the training. Healing from trauma takes time, and learning about abuse can be triggering. That's why we emphasize compassion and flexibility, so that each participant can move through the content in a way that feels safe for them.
Whether you're a survivor seeking clarity, or a professional looking to enhance your skills and serve clients more effectively, online training provides essential tools, language, and insights to navigate the complex landscape of coercive control.
Why documenting covert abuse and coercive control matters
Sharing the story of what happened is an essential step that every survivor must take when seeking help, support, and protection. Whether they are confiding in a friend or family member, going to therapy, speaking to an advocate, reporting an incident to the police, preparing for legal proceedings, safety planning or simply wanting to process events privately, survivors must find a way to explain what they’ve been through in order to get the support they need.
Covert abuse and coercive control involve subtle, manipulative tactics that intimidate and isolate the victim. Tactics like gaslighting can create such deep confusion that survivors may question their own memory, sanity, and sense of self. These behaviors usually form a long-term pattern that escalates over time rather than presenting as one-time incidents. As a result, it can be incredibly difficult to describe the experience in a way that others can understand.
Having to retell the entire story again and again can also be exhausting and retraumatizing. PTSD and “trauma brain” can make it even more difficult to organize memories and details.
This is exactly where documentation can be a powerful tool. When survivors document covert abuse and coercive control in a clear, structured way, they can better communicate their experiences without retraumatizing themselves. It allows them to efficiently share the most essential information that supports their safety and protection.
How the Executive Summary helps survivors tell their story
Our workshop offers a step-by-step process to help survivors create an Executive Summary - a concise, two-page document that organizes their experiences. With the right support and guidance, this process can be an empowering and life-changing way for survivors to take control of their own story.
The summary can be customized for a variety of audiences: attorneys, judges, therapists, law enforcement officers, advocates, or even personal reflection. It helps answer common questions like:
What happened?
When did it happen?
How did it impact you?
What kind of help or support do you need as a result?
Instead of recounting a complex and emotionally painful story over and over, survivors can rely on their summary to communicate key facts in a clear, focused way. This tool reduces the emotional toll and provides a grounded starting point for conversations that might otherwise be overwhelming.
The Executive Summary is also a tool for empowerment. Survivors regain agency by deciding what to include, what to omit, and how to frame their experience on their own terms. With guidance from our workshop, participants walk away with a summary they can return to and revise over time as needed.
Let’s define coercive control and domestic violence
So, what is coercive control? Understanding this form of abuse is the first step to naming and addressing it.
Coercive control is a pattern of threatening, isolating, controlling behavior. It is also a liberty crime because it seeks to deprive an intimate partner of their personal freedom. Coercive control can, but does not always, involve physical and sexual abuse. But the psychological and emotional impact can be just as damaging. It often includes financial abuse, legal abuse, technology-facilitated abuse, and stalking.
Like all forms of domestic violence, coercive control can occur across a variety of different cultural, geographic, socioeconomic, gender and relationship dynamics. However, it is primarily a gender-based crime perpetrated by men against women.
Even without a prior history of physical abuse, coercive control poses a significant lethality risk. When an abuser views an intimate partner as an object or possession, they might decide that they have the right to dispose of their property once it is no longer useful or begins to cause trouble.
To define coercive control more precisely, you may want to find out if and how it’s described in your local laws. Legal recognition of coercive control is growing, but it remains inconsistent across jurisdictions. Understanding what the law does - and does not - cover is crucial for survivors and those who support them.
In California, for example, Family Code 6320 (FC6320) includes language that recognizes coercive control, lists examples and allows for protection orders based on a pattern of controlling behavior even when physical violence is not present. In our workshop, we take a close look at how to identify and reference coercive control laws relevant to your region, along with a deep dive into the language used in FC6320 and how it can help survivors describe what they’ve been through. We also have a video explaining FC6320 on our YouTube channel, so make sure to check it out (and subscribe!).
Knowing these laws not only helps survivors speak the legal language of abuse but also strengthens their ability to advocate for safety and justice. If your local laws don’t yet include coercive control, that makes documentation even more important. When survivors can clearly outline how the abuse affected their safety, well-being, and freedom, they can use it to gain protection and support.
The legal definition of “domestic violence” also varies by jurisdiction. Knowing the legal definition of domestic violence in your region - state, province, or country - can help survivors understand their rights and what protections may be available. In many places, definitions are still evolving to include more than just physical or sexual violence.
By clearly defining coercive control and understanding where it fits within domestic violence laws, survivors and their allies are better equipped to recognize abuse and take steps toward safety.
What is covert abuse / covert coercive control?
Covert abuse is a form of harm that operates under the radar. It doesn’t always involve yelling, hitting, or name-calling. Instead, it takes the form of subtle manipulation - behaviors designed to erode a person’s confidence, distort their sense of reality, and isolate them from support systems. The goal is control - but unlike overt abuse, it’s more difficult to detect.
To better understand this, it helps to compare covert abuse with overt abuse. Overt coercive control includes more obvious actions - like shouting, threatening, or physically intimidating behavior - that are more easily recognized as abuse. In contrast, covert coercive control, or covert abuse, uses subtle, hidden tactics to dominate a partner. While overt abuse may leave visible marks, covert abuse often leaves psychological and emotional wounds that are harder to detect - but just as harmful.
Covert abuse is often described as covert emotional abuse or covert psychological abuse. This can include behaviors such as gaslighting, subtle insults, sabotage, smear campaigns, and persistent invasions of privacy.
Many survivors don’t recognize covert abuse until months or years into the relationship. That’s because the abuse is often disguised as concern (“I just worry about you too much to let you go out”), advice (“You’re not thinking clearly - let me handle the finances”), or even love (“I only check your messages because I care so much”). Covert abuse escalates over time, like a slippery slope.
Because it is so difficult to see and explain, covert abuse can be especially damaging. Survivors may feel ashamed, confused, or reluctant to speak up because they’re afraid they won’t be believed. That’s why awareness is the first step toward action - and why it’s helpful to obtain the training, language and tools needed to name this invisible threat.
Tactics of covert coercive control
There are many ways perpetrators exert power and control through covert means. Some of the most common tactics include:
Covert emotional abuse: Gaslighting, subtle insults, sarcasm, or backhanded compliments that erode self-esteem and induce self-doubt.
Covert psychological abuse: Creating confusion, unpredictability, and fear without direct threats; undermining the victim’s perception of reality.
Financial abuse: Restricting access to money, hiding assets, sabotaging employment, or forcing financial dependence.
Legal abuse: Misusing the court system to intimidate or drain resources, sometimes referred to as paper abuse or litigation abuse.
Technology-facilitated abuse: Monitoring digital devices, using spyware or social media to track or manipulate, or impersonating the survivor online.
Veiled threats: Non-verbal cues or coded language that carry implied consequences without directly stating them.
Stalking: Following the survivor, showing up uninvited, or tracking them through digital means, often under the guise of “coincidence.”
These tactics are rarely used in isolation. More often, they form a pattern of behavior that escalates over time. The cumulative effect is devastating: isolation, fear, and a gradual erosion of the survivor’s independence and sense of self.
Reporting covert abuse
For many survivors, the question isn’t just “What happened to me?” It’s “How do I explain what happened in a way that others will understand?” or “It’s a long story… where do I even start?” Covert abuse doesn’t always leave visible scars or police reports, but it leaves a trail of emotional and psychological harm that can be effectively captured through careful, structured documentation.
Reporting coercive control begins with identifying the audience and goal: Are you speaking to a judge? A therapist? A police officer? A friend? Each audience may require a different level of detail and framing. In our workshop, we guide participants through strategies to tailor their message appropriately, making it easier to be understood and taken seriously.
Some of the most helpful tools include:
Creating a timeline of abusive incidents - what happened, when, and where
Building a detailed log of events, including any evidence they might have
Referencing supporting documents, like the Power and Control Wheel
Citing local coercive control laws, where applicable
Using risk assessments to accurately describe the abuse and ongoing dangers
The most powerful tool is a concise summary that clearly explains what happened. Using the above tools to help create this summary results in a format that’s concise, readable, and effective across multiple settings.
The role of risk assessment in documenting coercive control
Not all abuse looks dangerous on the surface. That’s why domestic violence risk assessments are a critical part of documenting coercive control. These tools can help survivors and professionals assess the severity of the abuse and make informed decisions about next steps. Survivors and advocates will likely want to use more than one risk assessment to get a more accurate picture of the danger level they are facing.
One commonly used tool is the Danger Assessment, which focuses on overt signs of risk, such as physical threats or escalation of violence. This “outside-in” approach focuses on the abuser's observable behaviors.
Coercive control often requires a complementary “inside-out” assessment. That’s where the WEB Scale (Women’s Experience with Battering) comes in. This tool measures how the survivor feels - disempowered, afraid, hyper-vigilant - even in the absence of physical violence.
Used together, these two tools provide a more complete picture of the survivor’s situation. You can find more information about these risk assessments in our advocacy guide here.
In our workshop, we walk participants through both tools in detail and explain how to integrate the results into their documentation and safety planning.
Taking a trauma-informed approach
Trauma changes the brain. It affects memory, concentration, language, and decision-making. Many survivors struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which can make it difficult to remember and communicate key details of traumatic events. That’s why traditional reporting methods, like detailed police interviews or court affidavits, can feel overwhelming or even impossible for someone in a trauma-activated, “fight / flight / freeze” state.
Our coercive control training emphasizes the importance of taking a trauma-informed approach. This means:
Self-paced learning, encouraging frequent breaks and self-care
Providing clear, step-by-step guidance
Using language that validates rather than blames
Offering flexibility in how and when participants engage with the material
Making content more user-friendly for trauma survivors by adding accessibility features like captions, transcripts, highlighting, illustrations and “small chunking” lessons into easily digestible sections
We also remind participants that it’s okay to step away for a while and prioritize self-care. If reading about abuse becomes triggering, we recommend grounding exercises, nature walks, calming art activities, or simply watching something light and uplifting. Your nervous system deserves care, too.
Trauma-informed practices are not only compassionate - they’re effective. They help survivors feel safer, more supported, and more capable of telling their stories on their own terms.
Coercive control training online for survivors
For survivors, getting coercive control training online can be a turning point. Many survivors grapple with feeling overwhelmed, invalidated, or unsure of how to explain what they’ve been through. Our workshop gives survivors the language, structure, and support to articulate their story with confidence and clarity.
One of the most common responses we hear from survivors is, “I didn’t even know this was abuse until I took this class.” That’s the power of naming covert abuse and coercive control. When survivors learn the language to describe what happened to them - and find that they’re not alone - they often experience a shift in understanding that leads to healing and empowerment.
By the end of Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control, participants leave with a practical, trauma-informed tool they can use immediately: the Executive Summary. Survivors have used this summary to communicate with advocates, therapists, police officers and family members. This new resource helps support safety planning and self-advocacy.
Coercive control training online for advocates and providers
Whether you’re a domestic violence advocate, therapist, case manager, or healthcare provider, you’ve likely encountered clients experiencing coercive control - even if they didn’t use that term. Understanding covert abuse helps providers offer more accurate validation, support, and guidance.
This workshop equips advocates and service professionals with a framework for recognizing and responding to the full spectrum of abuse - not just physical violence. It provides practical tools like:
Executive Summary templates
Language to describe covert tactics clearly and effectively
Trauma-informed best practices
A step-by-step guide that can be used to assist survivors
Ultimately, Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop empowers providers to help survivors feel believed, supported, and protected - and to help them navigate systems that may otherwise overlook, misunderstand or minimize their experience and the safety risks associated with it.
For additional information and resources to help survivors, make sure to read and bookmark our free advocacy guide, Domestic Violence Advocate Training for Covert Abuse and Coercive Control.
Coercive control training online for allies
You don’t have to be a professional or survivor to benefit from an online coercive control training. Friends, family members, and community allies often want to help, but feel lost about what to say or how to offer meaningful support.
Covert abuse thrives in silence and confusion. That’s why education is one of the most powerful tools an ally can have. Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop helps allies:
Understand what coercive control and covert abuse look like
Provide informed, compassionate support
Help survivors find the words and strength to share their stories
By obtaining coercive control training online, you’re not only helping someone you love - you’re also expanding access to education and awareness that can ripple outward into the community. Allies play a critical role in interrupting cycles of harm, and your choice to learn more can make a real difference.
Watch this free mini-workshop to start your journey!
Check out our free 15-minute mini-workshop to learn five essential steps to document coercive control. This condensed training offers a preview of what you can expect from the full class while being an excellent resource on its own.
This free resource is perfect for survivors testing the waters, allies who want to start learning, or providers curious about how the full training might fit into their practice. It’s a no-pressure way to explore the value of this work while still gaining actionable insights.
About the instructor, Ruth Darlene
Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop was developed by Ruth Darlene, M.A., a state-certified domestic violence advocate and Executive Director of WomenSV. With more than 14 years of direct experience advocating for survivors of domestic violence, Ruth has served over 1,500 survivors and shared her expertise in covert abuse and coercive control with thousands of service providers, including therapists, judicial officers, police, probation, court staff, physicians, academic faculty, domestic violence advocates, counseling psychology students and corporate executives / security (Ex: Google, Google X, Meta, Oracle, Facebook).
About WomenSV
WomenSV (Women of Silicon Valley) is a nonprofit organization that is dedicated to empowering survivors, providers and communities with education about covert abuse and coercive control.
WomenSV has received numerous awards, earned a national reputation for expertise in coercive control and has been featured on The Today Show, Good Morning America, The New York Times, and Wall Street Journal.
Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop is part of a broader effort to make education about coercive control more accessible and effective. By offering this training online, WomenSV is helping to bridge the gap in awareness and resources that many survivors and providers face, especially when dealing with covert forms of abuse.
How you can help support domestic violence prevention, education and awareness
Domestic violence support services are facing increasing funding challenges, making community-supported education more important than ever. When you sign up for this online workshop, you’re not just learning how to recognize and document coercive control - you’re actively supporting domestic violence awareness, education and prevention.
If you’re able, we also invite you to make a donation. Community support is vital to allow us to continue this work.
Join Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop
It's a basic human right to be free and safe in our personal relationships. Domestic abuse violates that right. Powerful perpetrators use their power, money and wealth to silence their victims. Their tactics of covert abuse and coercive control are often invisible but the damage they do is very real, the impact can take years to recover from and the risk they pose to a survivor’s safety includes having their lives threatened and sometimes ended.
Survivors, allies, and providers need tools and training that acknowledge the full spectrum of abuse - not just the visible signs. Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop is designed to meet that need with empathy, expertise, and practical solutions. This trauma-informed, virtual learning program helps survivors, allies, and professionals identify and respond to coercive control and covert abuse.
Whether you're just beginning to process your experience, or you're a seasoned advocate looking to deepen your understanding, this training offers actionable steps to recognize, document, and respond to covert abuse. We invite you to join us and take the next step toward healing, safety, and justice. Together, we can break the silence around covert abuse and coercive control to create a future where every person feels safe and free in their relationships.
How to Document Coercive Control in 5 Steps
Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV shares 5 steps that will help you document coercive control. These steps are from WomenSV's new online coercive control training, Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop.
Coercive control is a pattern of behavior that manipulates, controls, threatens and isolates an intimate partner. Survivors of this type of abuse often find it difficult to explain what they've experienced in a way that others can easily understand.
In this video, Ruth Darlene, Founder and Executive Director of WomenSV shares 5 steps that will help you document coercive control.
These steps are from WomenSV's new online coercive control training, Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop. This video is an abbreviated version that will guide you through the process of documenting coercive control concisely and effectively in a two-page Executive Summary. Your Executive Summary can be easily customized according to your specific situation, audience and goals. For example: reporting to law enforcement, informing a therapist, preparing for legal proceedings, advocating for survivors or supporting a friend.
⬇️ JOIN THE FULL ONLINE COURSE: ⬇️
Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop
Join our 90-minute self-paced coercive control training course designed for survivors, advocates, service providers and allies. You’ll get a complete walkthrough with additional steps plus templates and examples to help you thoroughly document coercive control.
Video timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to documenting coercive control - Ruth Darlene of WomenSV
1:27 Step 1: Understanding coercive control
3:32 Step 2: Goals and audience
4:19 Step 3: Timeline
5:11 Step 4: Incident / allegation log
6:22 Step 5: Gather supporting documents
7:59 How to document coercive control + important considerations
11:55 Coercive control training online - Understanding and Documenting Coercive Control: Executive Summary Workshop
About WomenSV:
WomenSV (Women of Silicon Valley) is a nonprofit dedicated to empowering survivors, providers and communities with education about covert abuse and coercive control.
Donate:
Donate to support coercive control awareness, education and prevention.
DISCLAIMER:
This content is for educational purposes only. This is not therapeutic or legal advice. WomenSV does not offer therapy, legal assistance or referrals.